Happy Easter!

I hope you all are having a wonderful Easter holiday. It's been so beautiful today, I thought I'd write outside. I've been going back and forth this week as to whether I wanted talk about the happenings of the last week and a half or not for fear that talking about it might somehow make it not happen. But thanks to the encouragement of a sweet friend and childhood pen pal I ran into at church while trying to get away from the anxiety of another baby dedication, I've decided to go ahead and post about it.

"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord." (Psalm 112:7 NIV)

As I've already posted about in the last few weeks, we started new medication this month. I had my first ultrasound on day 12 of my cycle, and praise the Lord, we actually had a follicle! My doctor said it was perfect, just perfect! Until this season in our lives I never knew a person could love a follicle, but it is very possible. This is definitely an answer to prayer. I went back this past Friday to check my progesterone levels. I do not know the results yet, but we are continuing to pray with expectancy for that as well.

Something that doesn't get as much attention drawn to it in the midst of a couple's baby journey, and something we've been dealing with this week, is the extra stress that it puts on the husband and wife relationship. This time should be one of drawing closer to one another and enjoying each other as you try for a baby, but all too often it's not. This last week has been the "not" side of that for Josh and I. If we aren't careful as women, we or I, can focus too much on getting a baby and forget how that could make my husband feel. He doesn't want to feel like a means to an end any more than I do. The schedules and counting can get to a guy, or at least it gets to Josh anyway. I take for granted that he knows I love him and want to be with him whether we get pregnant or not. I have to remember to show him.

Josh is much better at the waiting than I am. He will be happy if God gives us a baby today or 10 years from now. He knows God is in control. That, however, is the bit of wisdom I tend to forget. We must remind each other also that men and women see this subject COMPLETELY differently. When Josh reminds me that it's God's plan not mine, I have to take that to heart and not get angry with him. And when I cry and ask God why, Josh has to remember the Lord has given me this desire for a child. It's a blessing, not a curse. Although in all honesty, I've wondered at times.

I want to share the lyrics to a song that we've sang at church the last few weeks. I would definitely encourage you to buy the album or at least look it up online. It's a song called "Oceans" by Hillsong United on their Zion album. I keep repeating these words over and over. Hopefully they minister to you as much as they did me.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find you in the mystery
In oceans deep my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and won't start now

So I will call upon your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust
Is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my
Feet would ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine


Amen!