Did I ask for this?

We've had an amazing week soaking up the beautiful Carolina sunshine. And thanks to my poor sunscreen application skills, my poor Joshua's back looks like he has tiger stripes due to that same sunshine. Vacations are wonderful little escapes from reality. Monday morning's 6:30 alarm, I'm sure, will have no trouble bringing me back from fantasy land though.

We had planned on getting up at 4:00 this morning to start the long drive back home. I never sleep well the night before I know I have to get up extra early. So as I stared at the inside of my eyelids, my mind started to wander. My momma always said if you can't sleep you should pray, so that's what I decided to do. I thanked the Lord for our trip, prayed for a safe journey home, and all the normal things. And of course, my prayers always lead to asking for a baby. 

These last few weeks I've been asking God why He hasn't given us a baby. Not the usual angry yelling "why God?!", but a genuine wondering if there was a specific reason as to why we hadn't received our gift yet. Last night as I prayed, I think I got an answer - or at least part of one.

Growing up, my parents were great encouragers. They instilled in me a self worth and confidence that sadly a lot of people don't get. As a child I probably thought a little too highly of myself at times, but hey, I've never claimed humility to be my strong suit. My parents tried for a year to get pregnant with me. I remember my mom telling me on several occasions that I was special because she had prayed and asked the Lord for me. I was their pearl. 

I recall thinking that was so awesome. I was an answer to their prayers. And last night as I prayed, God reminded me of something else...I had asked Him for the same with my children. When I was a child, when I was a teenager, when Josh and I got married, over and over and over I had told God I wanted to pray for my babies too. I didn't want surprises. I wanted to be able to tell my children the same things I was told. 

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”  

(1 Samuel 1:27, 28 NIV)

Thank you Lord that you are answering my prayers. Three years into this journey they may not be the way I had planned, but they are answers none the same. I will continue to call things forth that are not as though they are. Amen.

" Abraham was first named "father" and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples." (Romans 4:17, 18 MSG)