Medically Speaking

This time I thought I'd give you all the back story of what all Josh and I have done medically on our journey for a baby.

First of all, my cycles have never been regular. Which as a young girl, didn't matter to me much. But ever since I started going to my doctor, he and I both knew that it might be a process when Josh and I decided to have children. We of course started the old fashioned way. I got off the pill in June and 4 weeks later I was having to call my doctor to talk about getting some medicine to help me start my period. This was the ugly beginning of a tortuous month to month waiting game of "am I pregnant or am I just not starting again?". By mid October of that same year with nothing happening, my doctor decided to start me on clomid. For those of you that might not know what clomid is, it's a drug used as an ovulation inducer. Or for me - a tiny little pill that did absolutely nothing but make me a horrible green eyed monster. Bless my poor husband's heart. We did the monthly blood tests from October to December. In December though, I somehow got it into my head that I was absolutely pregnant this time. And when I started that month, I was devastated. I stayed in bed that whole Sunday, and when I woke up that Monday morning shingles had reared its ugly head once again. I had had shingles before, but this time was by far the worst. It took some IV antibiotics and several weeks off work to get rid of it. After the shingles cleared at the first of January, we did another round of clomid. This time I started my period about 2 weeks earlier than I should have. When I called my doctor, I could tell he and his nurse were concerned I had had a miscarriage. Thankfully, I had not. But this emotional upset was the last straw for Josh. After that visit we decided to take some time off the baby making roller coaster.

From February to October we didn't do any medications. I'd like to say it was such a stress relief to not worry about the month to month, but I still worried. I did read an excellent book that helped me a lot, along with another just recently, but that's for another post. When October rolled around, it was time for my yearly check up anyway so I made an appointment. Josh and I discussed starting again and decided if I could try to keep my stress level to a minimum, we could do this whole thing again.

From October to December, I ovulated 1 time. My doctor suggested we try an inter uterine insemination. Being the redneck my husband is, when I told him what the doctor suggested he replied "like they do with cows?". Thanks, honey. :) Any way, it just so happened that by the time we were ready to do the IUI, the lab that my OBGYN's office used had decided to no longer offer that service. I can only assume that that was The Lord closing a door. I have long struggled with laying out a plan in my head and then telling God here you go. Make it happen. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. Maybe that's why it's taken so long for us to get pregnant. I still have some things to learn.

Back to the story. We've made it to this past January. We had been doing ultrasounds to see if I had follicles forming to do the IUI with. This one was different though. The ultrasound tech found a cyst on my right ovary. Only about 4cm in size, but my doctor didn't want me to do any more of the clomid for fear that it might enlarge the cyst. I went back a month later for another US to see if the cyst was still there. Good news- the cyst on the right side was gone. Bad news- there was an even larger (6cm) cyst on the left side. Oh joy. My doctor's first words when he came into the exam room were "Well, that's not what I expected." Great. He then proceeded to tell me he thought that my ovaries were hyper stimulated. He recommended going back on birth control for 2 months to calm my hormones down. I lost it. I'm usually pretty good, sometimes too good, at hiding my emotions. I couldn't hold it in this time though. Thankfully I have a wonderful doctor who sat with me for the next 45 minutes, hugged me, and told me everything was going to be alright.

So that's where we are now. I'm still not sure how I feel about taking the birth control. Josh and the doctor want me to, but I can't tell if I just don't like the thought of preventing something that might happen or if it's God quietly urging me not to take it. This has definitely been a faith testing experience. Hopefully though, it will turn into a faith building one soon.